September 2009, taken during the very first Path of Samsara live performance.
At this place in time, I was in a state of emotional turmoil. Not too long ago, my mother had died of cancer after eight years of struggle. It hit me hard, with a storm of emotions all around me. The only way for me to find relief was to channel them into music.
Creating art is a painful, yet ultimately liberating process. You have to go to the deepest depths of your being and look at the parts of the self that you normally hide from the world. Deep down, where demons and angels alike reside. You journey to your own private underworld, looking straight into an endless abyss. Once you have returned, the task is to forge something solid out of the subconscious fragments you have collected.
There is nothing glamorous about creating art. If you wish to conquer pain, you need to have the willingness to look it straight in the eye. You make yourself quite vulnerable when you share your innermost feelings with the world. Some people may be genuinely moved by your work, while others spare no effort to put it down.
Only you can know why you‘re doing what you‘re doing. That seems to be the hardest part of being creative for many people, and yet the answer is with you all along. Be honest with yourself.
It is all inside.
Back in September 2009 I promised myself to always create art that is a honest reflection of who I am. There where phases in my life where this promise has led to some difficult decisions.
Honesty isn‘t glamorous. Risk all to gain nothing, and in return lose everything.
And when everything seems to be lost, a long lost sense of freedom kicks in.
I want to thank you, dear reader, for taking the time to read through this rather personal Blog entry.
It means more to me than I can tell you.